The Panera Manifesto
Posted on December 14, 2009I was hanging out at Panera the other day, chatting with a friend, when an interesting young woman in a hat handed out a handwritten page to everyone sitting in our corner of the restaurant and quickly left. Each page was laboriously hand-copied, word for word; at least five or six of these pages were made. I decided to scan in this “Panera Manifesto”, and make a transcript. Here you go:
Side A
F.Y.I. A Lady named Jessica Thinks.
Pets
need a spa
installed, immeadiately.
Nobody is having a very good time
on the Baggie Stroll.Scar tissue is a before issue of pain. BLOCKED NOW!
Ladies Clean yo pocket w/ Hydrogen peroxide.
Rinse 3X w/ H2O. Mom smells the lump
of fertility. Yes, life is good! [drawing of a face] All, wipe w/
Hydrogen peroxide splashes! (Just stay out of
yo bottom w/ it b/c it empties you out,
Continuously!)
bloodyDrunk means you need a spa bathroom.
CASH should be beautiful and scratch ‘n sniff
deliciousness, or else what’s the point of
going 2 to the new $25.00/hr. minimum wage get up, even if
housing is not more than
$100.00/mo. TOTAL, and autos are not more
than $900.00 TOTAL, and produce is not more
than $2.00/lb, and gas is not over $2.00/gal.?!Cancer is fancy for
Side B
“Ashtray please.”
Sugar juices you out, Salt absorbs H2O weight.
But smooth teeth and bones want H2O.FIRE is majic. Smoke is beautiful. Herbs smell good.
★sunlight ★bonfires ★B.B.Q.’s ★thunder ★
★and lighting ★woodburning stoves burning ★
★apple and cinnamon woods ★ smokes ★
★beautiful like animated leaves in air ★
★snowbreath ★ snow ★ fog ★ myst ★ rain ★ air ★
★ wind ★ pinesol scents ★ scents…The thought of something is not the EXperience of something
Memories
You can shape yo face w/ yo head in yo hands.
We are always growing beautifully. Posture
is yo Impression. Suck yo lips in for
BOOM out. Greasy hair is growing hair. Warm
H2O salt helps move oils along 2 ends. ★a★
★conditioner loaded combe helps w/ sleikienessM.S.G.
Thanks,
L. Low n Deñero
What does it all mean? I’m sure scholars will be debating it for years to come…
I Am a Patron of the Arts
Posted on March 23, 2009
A fellow I know through the local internet forum, Bryan Klopping, is about to attend art school, and to fund his ventures, he asked around if anyone would like to commission a painting. I thought about it, and quickly decided upon commissioning a portrait of the photo on the right 
this post for details of that night.) We were all very excited about the prospect of the painting. A canvas was quickly procured.
Bryan gave me updates over the next few weeks letting me know the status of the painting, and finally, last Friday, it was finished. I excitedly made my way over to Bryan’s apartment, and was in awe of the beauty held before me.
The painting now hangs in my office at work, that I share with Don. We’re very excited to have it, and the response from around work has been very positive. If you’re interested in having a painting done by Bryan, let me know, and I can hook you up.
Filed Under Hurray!, Meta, Pictures | 4 Comments
Christmas Gift Brag 2008!
Posted on December 28, 2008Well Christmas has done come ‘n’ gone. Hopefully we all got the presents we all wanted. I know I got some pretty sweet stuff. Here was my take for 2008:
Gift Cards!
Who doesn’t need gift cards? I got $15 for iTunes, $50 for South Pointe mall here in Lincoln, $50 for Best Buy, and $20 for Juice Stop (not pictured). All will come in handy for my desk project I’m working on.
Vodka!
Who doesn’t need sweet delicious vodka? This vodka comes courtesy of Hangar 1, where they make their vodka in an airplane hangar in Alameda, California. A very quality product.
An Ugly Vase!
Every year on Christmas Eve, my dad’s side of the family gets together at Grandma’s house. And instead of a normal gift exchange, Grandma visits the dollar store and picks up about $25 worth of stuff, to be given away as bingo prizes. And I won this vase. Woot.
A Banjo
I’ve been wanting a banjo for some time now (I think it’s at least partially Beerorkid’s fault). So, ma and pa went in and got me one for Christmas. It’s pretty rad; I’m looking forward to learning how to play it. I already know two chords (G and Am, represent!) I’ll be strummin’ and a pickin’ in no time!
What’d you guys get?
Went to a Concert Last Night
Posted on October 10, 2008At Lincoln’s Zoo Bar, Tyler, Matt and I went to go see The Bellflowers, Little Brown Jug, and Black Squirrels. It was a great lineup, we drank too much, and we enjoyed the show.
First up was The Bellflowers (MySpace Link), a good old fashioned country band from here in Lincoln. Their pedal steel player is one of my wine reps, and so that’s how I found out about these guys in the first place. You may remember them from a concert I went to a while ago, where they played with Loup River Band. From that came this video of them performing. I didn’t get any video of them this time, unfortunately. Bonus awesomeness for this band: They have an honest to god singing saw. You never see singing saw players any more!
Little Brown Jug from Joshua on Vimeo.
Second act was Little Brown Jug. The only video I shot last night with the D90. It was really dark and I was really drunk, so the cinematography is pretty bad, and I’m still getting used to the controls. But it’s a good song. Go to the Vimeo page to see HD. You can kinda hear Tyler and Matt yammering in the background, but it adds to the bar vibe. They have the cutest fiddle player ever in this band, by the way.
The final act was from up in Omaha, Black Squirrels (MySpace link). They were a little less old-timey with their sound but were very good. They had an accordion player, so it was a night for unusual instruments I guess. Definitely worth checking out.
Be sure to check the Flickr for the rest of the pictures from the evening, there were some good ones.
Save Me Obi Ken Schimekobi, You’re My Only Hope!
Posted on June 4, 2008Tornado sirens went off about half an hour ago. I was a bit confused because, outside of the twice weekly tests of the civil defense system. Because basically there’s not much threat of an air raid these days. Here’s a map of what’s happening right at this moment, I live right at the point of the blue arrow:
About 45 minutes ago, being as there was an apparent immediate threat of tornado, I naturally went outside with the camera, so as to show others exactly what this storm looked like. Here’s the first picture, facing south Lincoln:
I live right near
You can even see the reflection of the southern sunlight in the building’s glassy fascia. Pretty keen, huh? The joys of living in the Great Plains.
Filed Under Meta, Pictures | 2 Comments
Date Night at JTK
Posted on April 1, 2008Don and I are both bartenders at a very upscale restaurant in the Lincoln Haymarket, JTK. Monday nights the restaurant runs an excellent special known as the “Date Night”, which consists of:
- An appetizer for two
- Soup or salad
- Two entrees
- A dessert for two
- A bottle of wine
All selected from a limited, but excellent, menu. Being as we both had the evening off, Don and I decided to take advantage of this offering. In a totally hetero way of course. And I brought the camera.
We started the evening off with a nice glass of amber Laphroaig 10yr, of which I keep a private supply behind the bar:
So delicious and smoky. Naturally this led to a discussion of scotches, a common subject for us.
Next up, our lovely waitress Amber brought out the appetizer. We decided on the caprese:
Slices of tomato and mozzarella cheese, drizzled with balsamic vinaigrette. Sooo good, and so very simple.
Amber then brought out our wine. We selected the Stump Jump, a blend of shiraz and grenache:
An excellent basic wine from d’Arenberg in Australia, it’s not as strong as most shirazes (Shiraces? Shirazii? I’ve had this discussion before…), and is maybe a little fruitier and more balanced? I dunno, I’m usually talking out of my ass when it comes to wine, and I was already half lit up from the scotch anyways.
I should probably put a jump in here, because I’ve got a bunch more photos to go.
Read more
Filed Under Food 'n' Drink, Pictures, Restaurant Reviews | 3 Comments
A Lot of Booze
Posted on November 22, 2007
Click for big
This is what happens when I realize how full my liquor cabinet is. From left to right: Absente (Sarah’s faux-absinthe), Johnny Walker Gold Label, Navan vanille cognac, Maker’s Mark, Cragganmore 12 year, Kahlua, Phillips-Union vanilla whiskey, Bacardi Select, Campari bitters, Danzka Vodka, Hangar One orange vodka, Svedka vodka, Vermouth, Blavod black vodka, Pernod Pastis, Bombay Sapphire (Sarah’s again), Sazerac Rye whiskey, and Pama pomegranate liqueur.
I need to work on some mixology, see what I can create (though I think I need to expand the collection a little more too. Perhaps track down some 350/500 mL bottles for that). Really though, I need to drink more so I can work this collection down some. Anybody want to help? 
I’m not concerned though, you’re not really an alcoholic until you are making your own simple syrup. (Which reminds me, I need to make some.)
Filed Under Food 'n' Drink, Pictures | 3 Comments
Yet More Fan Art
Posted on May 8, 2007It seems that I’ll never run out of these. Which is lucky for you! Let’s jump right in, shall we?
This is supposed to be a mother and her child. However, it looks like someone has issues with drawing woman. That’s one dudely woman there.
MurkHellsing would like to see what life would be like if Vader were pregnant. Again, somebody has mother issues here, I should think.
And there’s the goods for this week. Y’all stop back now, ya hear?
Filed Under Fan Art, King of Internets, Pictures | 1 Comment
Fan Art Revue III
Posted on April 30, 2007Back again for another week of madness. Are you excited? Can you handle it? Is your mind being blown?!
Data doing Shakespeare in a lame joke. So it goes.
I think someone read a little too much into ST:TNG if they gathered that Data was gay and proud. So it goes though.
This is supposed to be A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell. I have yet to figure out why he’s playing tympani in his underpants. The world may never know.
Another MythBusters drawing. I don’t know what the joke is here, what Buster is supposedly doing, or why they’re talking to anime people, but here it is.
Stay tuned next week for more terrible, terrible fan art.
Filed Under Fan Art, King of Internets, Pictures | Leave a Comment
Pictures of the New Car
Posted on April 26, 2007As ya seen yesterday, I got a new car. But I been too busy to actually get pictures of the thing until today. So here ya go. All purty and light-boxed up for you to click on.
Filed Under Automobiles, Hurray!, Meta, Pictures | 3 Comments
