The Panera Manifesto
Posted on December 14, 2009I was hanging out at Panera the other day, chatting with a friend, when an interesting young woman in a hat handed out a handwritten page to everyone sitting in our corner of the restaurant and quickly left. Each page was laboriously hand-copied, word for word; at least five or six of these pages were made. I decided to scan in this “Panera Manifesto”, and make a transcript. Here you go:
Side A
F.Y.I. A Lady named Jessica Thinks.
Pets
need a spa
installed, immeadiately.
Nobody is having a very good time
on the Baggie Stroll.Scar tissue is a before issue of pain. BLOCKED NOW!
Ladies Clean yo pocket w/ Hydrogen peroxide.
Rinse 3X w/ H2O. Mom smells the lump
of fertility. Yes, life is good! [drawing of a face] All, wipe w/
Hydrogen peroxide splashes! (Just stay out of
yo bottom w/ it b/c it empties you out,
Continuously!)
bloodyDrunk means you need a spa bathroom.
CASH should be beautiful and scratch ‘n sniff
deliciousness, or else what’s the point of
going 2 to the new $25.00/hr. minimum wage get up, even if
housing is not more than
$100.00/mo. TOTAL, and autos are not more
than $900.00 TOTAL, and produce is not more
than $2.00/lb, and gas is not over $2.00/gal.?!Cancer is fancy for
Side B
“Ashtray please.”
Sugar juices you out, Salt absorbs H2O weight.
But smooth teeth and bones want H2O.FIRE is majic. Smoke is beautiful. Herbs smell good.
★sunlight ★bonfires ★B.B.Q.’s ★thunder ★
★and lighting ★woodburning stoves burning ★
★apple and cinnamon woods ★ smokes ★
★beautiful like animated leaves in air ★
★snowbreath ★ snow ★ fog ★ myst ★ rain ★ air ★
★ wind ★ pinesol scents ★ scents…The thought of something is not the EXperience of something
Memories
You can shape yo face w/ yo head in yo hands.
We are always growing beautifully. Posture
is yo Impression. Suck yo lips in for
BOOM out. Greasy hair is growing hair. Warm
H2O salt helps move oils along 2 ends. ★a★
★conditioner loaded combe helps w/ sleikienessM.S.G.
Thanks,
L. Low n Deñero
What does it all mean? I’m sure scholars will be debating it for years to come…
News Hottie of the Week: Abbi Tatton
Posted on December 11, 2009
I could have sworn I did this post before, but apparently not. Abbi Tatton reports on the internet for CNN’s Situation Room. She’s the lady who tells Wolf Blitzer what’s happening on blogs and Twitter, which is generally unimportant, but what ever you have to do to pander to viewers I guess? Anyway, as one of the first Internet reporters in television news, Ms. Tatton has explored Internet angles to stories including the war in Iraq, the London subway bombings and the 2006 midterm elections. She has also covered the emergence of blogs and the internet and their relationship to political elections and campaigning. She attended the University of Leeds and received her M.A. from American University. There was also, briefly, a blog devoted to her, I Luv Abbi Tatton.
Filed Under Hottie of the Week | 1 Comment
Snowmageddon 2009
Posted on December 8, 2009So somebody was all a bloobloo bloo about the rain they were getting. We’re in the middle of a massive snow storm with a prediction of up to 15″ of snow. So I thought I’d show him what real precipitation looks like.
As an aside, Vimeo took so long to process this video that we actually got a few more inches since then.
Filed Under I Made This, Lincoln, Nebraska, Videos | Leave a Comment
