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The eMac Project

Posted on July 31, 2008

It all started a couple of months ago, when I found an eMac on Craigslist for $60. Neat! I thought, a project computer. Little did I know…

It arrived in good condition, just a sharpie wound on the top edge that I tastefully covered with a sticker. Once that project was completed, I decided to start in on installing Ubuntu. Unfortunately, the LiveCD wouldn’t work. It would boot up and then end with a black screen. Cock. Fortunately, the alternate-installer cd is text based, so I could use that. Ubuntu installed, let’s start up. Boot screen, and… Blackness. After spending several hours on the Google, I figure out, it’s a problem with the X windowing system’s configuration file. It has no way of working with the eMac’s built-in display. No windowing system, no UI. I had no experience editing an xorg.conf file, I don’t know what most of the settings mean. I’m barely able to edit a text file from the command line. After some more googling, I found a copy of somebody else’s xorg.conf file for an eMac, for another version of Linux. But I somehow managed to figure out which settings I need, saved the changes, and rebooted. And result! I managed to solve that problem.

But it was so slow in Ubuntu. Running Panther, the machine’s paltry 256 Mb of RAM didn’t offer much but it was able to run decently. Not so in Ubuntu. It was slooooow. The time from clicking on a menu to the menu actually being drawn was measurable in seconds. Ok, I’ll get some RAM then. 2×512 Mb sticks from OWC, $60 shipped. Not a bad deal at all. Amazingly, replacing memory in the machine is quite simple, only one screw involved. And speed was much improved. Hurray.

But after spending a few days with Ubuntu, I realized that I don’t really care for it. Despite three days effort, sound wasn’t working. There was no plausible workaround for the fact that there’s no Flash support for a PowerPC Linux machine. And that’s not all. A lot of the big selling points of Ubuntu simply haven’t caught up with PowerPC support, and might never, since it’s such a tiny sliver of an already small segment. It was time to switch back.

There was just one small problem. It didn’t come with any CDs. And since it only has a CD-ROM drive, any DVDs I had lying around wouldn’t work. I did some web searching, as there are places online where you can still buy old OSes, including Jaguar and Puma. Only problem is, they’re very price. And I’m not willing to pay $75-$130 for a dated system. Unfortunately, eBay auctions for CDs were few and far between, and frequently had bids pushing to the retail prices. Finally I found an auction for a set of eMac restore CDs. I asked the seller if they were CDs, just to be sure, and he said yes. So I bid, and won for the amazingly low cost of $35 shipped. A few days later the CDs arrived, so I eagerly put them into the plucky little eMac.

And nothing happened. The eMac refused to boot from the CD drive. Ubuntu wouldn’t even recognize that there was a CD in the drive. Did some more googling, even posted on the PPC section of the Ubuntu support forums. I put the CD in my iMac to make sure it wasn’t a bad disk. It was fine. I ejected the disk and that’s when I noticed something. On the disk it said “DVD”. Even though I had asked specifically if it was a CD and was told yes. Shit.

At this point, I made an executive decision. It would be cheaper to buy a DVD drive for the eMac than it would be to drop more money on disks. I popped down to the shops and found an ok DVD drive for $49. And it even has Lightscribe. Whatever that is. I tear apart the eMac using Wilko’s eMac teardown guide. It’s a pretty machine inside, all shiny chrome and neat parts, so I took some pictures, which will go up on the Flickr soon. Continue taking it apart… Still taking it apart. 45 screws later, I pop the new DVD drive in. 45 screws. That’s bad. Then there’s putting the whole thing together, remembering which screws go where, and so forth. When I finally put it together, I only had four screws left over, and no guarantee that the drive or machine was even going to work when I hit the power button.

Plug it in, nice spark from inside the translucent power cord, hit the power button, and it works! Put the DVD in the drive, reboot, and even that works! Amazing! So now I’ve got Panther running on the machine, a 700 Mhz G4 eMac that only cost me $205 altogether.

So that project is all finished, I sit down to see what I’ve missed in the RSS feeds, and I see this.

Cock.

Filed Under Apple, Tech | 2 Comments

I’m a Tard

Posted on July 11, 2008

So since I didn’t buy an iPhone today, I thought I would treat myself and get a Pinnacle HD Stick. It’s a handy little device with a USB doodle on one end and a coax doodle on the other end. With the included EyeTV software I can connect it to analog cable and watch and record tv on my Mac, much like a Tivo. Hella cool. Once I upgrade the EyeTV software I’ll be able to schedule recordings, edit clips and cut out commercials, and convert to iPod video. All very awesome, except for one thing.

I forgot to buy a coax cable. My cable input is on the opposite side of the room from my computer, a good thirty feet of distance. So I need to buy an extra long cable. Until then, I’m stuck using the included antenna, which only picks up 3ABN, a very Jesus-y channel. So I don’t have much to watch on my new tv-computer for now. Oh well.

Filed Under Apple, Tech | 5 Comments

New Tech at Home

Posted on July 10, 2008

Since USPaul had to go all high and mighty and brag about the cool new stuff he got, I figure I’d do the same. Gotta show off the goods, y’all.

Filed Under Apple, Lists, Meta, Tech | 2 Comments

Tweets of the Week

Posted on July 8, 2008

Highlights from the past week on my Twitter account.

I love watching carnies chain smoke.10:33 PM July 02

Nothing makes you feel cooler than driving through a town of 700 with Judas Priest blasting out the stereo and all the townsfolk staring. Nothing!04:24 PM July 03

My Native American name would be “Comfy-in-Slacks”12:38 PM July 04

Going on a man-date with Tyler. Red Lobster and then Wall-E. So not gay I swear.6:15 PM July 06

Apple rumor: Segway’s CTO joining Apple as product design lead so Jonathan Ive can become CEO, as Steve Jobs is stepping down. Oh noes! – 12:14 PM July 07

Filed Under Lists, Meta | 1 Comment

Guest Column: Goddamn Happy Birthday America

Posted on July 4, 2008

Guest Columnist Earl Joe Maynard — Goddamn it’s been 222 years since the goddamn Illuminati started this little country we call the North American Union (Oh it might not be called that yet but in eight years when president-colonel Ron Paul unites the four nations on this continent [after Texas revolts and becomes a separate nation state of course] just you wait and you’ll see ole Earl Joe is right).
Goddamn kids already lighting off the ole fireworks next door without knowing what America is all about. You punk kids think you’re hot shit in a champagne glass but you’re just cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup compared to Earl Joe. You see I was over in southeast Asia killing Vietnamese boys during the secret Vietnam war all through 1974-1977. Because of me you sumbitches get the liberties you do without me coming over with my goddamn rifle and putting you in your place. And you don’t even recognize the fact. Bastard school systems don’t teach you about the secret wars I bet, because they’re too busy brainwashing kids into believing that George Washington started this country and not Adolf Hitler’s great great grandfather. Goddamn teachers probably believe that themselves. Learn your history people! Watch my public access show on channel 99 ever Friday night at nine thirty after the Tortilla Hour. Goddamn illegals and their goddamn cooking show. Ole Earl Joe will teach you all about what really happened when the King of Spain ruled America during the Civil War. Goddamnit. Happy Goddamn birthday America.

Filed Under Guest Columns | 3 Comments

Guest Column: In My Day, I Could Write a SYMPL Interpreter in My Sleep

Posted on July 2, 2008

Guest Columnist: Robbie the IT Guy — I tell you what. These fucking people I work with. I’m amazed that they even go to the bathroom themselves. These fucking kids don’t know how great they have it. When I got into this business, we didn’t have these pansy ass graphical interfaces to work with. No we had 40 columns of monospaced green text, if we were lucky enough to have a high end CRT. And you know what? We wrote some god damned fucking great code with that.

I could write a fucking spreadsheet app in my sleep. And it would be under 128 bytes, let me tell you. These pansy-ass motherfuckers have no idea what it’s like to have to fit your entire porn collection on a floppy disk. I was downloading tits over a 300 bit per second smart modem from a BBS before these assholes knew how to suckle their own mommy’s teats. Fucking snot-nose punks around me, I tell you.

These assholes get all bitchy too when they run out of Rock Starz and Ballz and Mountain Dew in the fridge. Those pussies wouldn’t even know what to do with themselves if they had to mix Coca Cola and hot coffee, they way we did around the old Deltaur offices back in my day. And we liked it. God damn kids.

Filed Under Guest Columns | 1 Comment

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