Better Makeout Music: Roxy Music vs. Uriah Heep
Posted on January 8, 2008A question presents itself. What is better to make out to? The suave and smooth ’80s hit from Roxy Music, “More than This” or, the heavy and humble hard rocking “Gypsy” by Uriah Heep? After some scientific experimentation, I think I’ve come up with a fair comparison.
Romance
Lyrically, “Gypsy” is very romantic. “I was out for quite a time / Came back with her on my mind / Sweet little girl / She means all the world”, it’s the tale of a young man who falls in love with a gypsy girl but is unable to convince her father that he is worthy. She is torn between obeying her father and going with the man she loves. He is going to prove to the father that he can be the right kind of man. Very romantic stuff indeed.
“More than This” is a little more opaque in its meaning. However, lines like “It was fun for a while / There was no way of knowing / Like dream in the night / Who can say where we´re going” speak of a love that has passed. The relationship is coming to an end, that it’s not what it used to be.
Advantage: Uriah Heep
Rhythm
“Gypsy” is pounding, driving, thrusting, hard. Great for fucking, yes. However, the down and dirty 8th note organ stabs do not do well for soft love. This is music for making love the back of a ‘79 Ranchero. “More than This”, on the other hand, is smooth, soft, it gently caresses you. Even the smooth backbeat of the drums are mellow, saying “it’s okay baby, I just want to love you responsibly”. The airy synths and almost ethereal vocals are okay with taking it slow and waiting for when you’re ready.
Advantage: Roxy Music
Lead Singer
Everybody knows that a band’s success can live or die based on its frontman. That’s what gets the girls going crazy, the sexy man on stage. And, well, I think this chart says it all:
The Heep’s David Byron, shown on the left, is, well, poodle-haired and bewildered-looking. And this photo is of his good side. Not the best looking man. Whereas Roxy Music’s Bryan Ferry, on the right, is suave. The ladies surely like him. Who wouldn’t?
Advantage: Roxy Music.
Judgement
I think, with a score of 2 to 1, I have no choice but to give it to Roxy Music. “More than This” is for sure the best track to have makeouts with pretty ladies to. So remember that next time you’re putting together your mixtape. Science says so.
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When I was making out in that John Hughes movie back in the ’80s, they used Roxy Music. Kind of a no-brainer.
Well, duh. I mean, Bryan Ferry is a total nancy-boy, but he is one smooooth playa
This is a good conclusion, and I’d have to concur. Atmosphere can always influence the effectiveness of either candidate, but Roxy Music will instill in your partner subconsciously a greater need for “approval” simply because the track is so cool.
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