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More Bad Commercials

Posted on September 30, 2007

I previously posted some fantastic commercials over at Beerorkid so if you missed those, be sure to check them out. Well, I’ve done some more digging and found even more brilliant material.

I’ve got something… For You! That’s some sweet hair.

I want to party with these dudes.

And finally, the Vern Fonk Trilogy. This guy is clearly insane, yet I so wish that I could buy insurance from him.

Gotta love Vern’s dancing in the background

Shapoopi!

Merry Christmas to you too, Vern.

Check out Vern’s website for more craziness/creepiness.

DB’s Wedding Playlist

Posted on September 28, 2007

Patricia and I were discussing bad weddings and such, when the subject of DB’s eventual possible wedding came up. We decided to put together a little playlist for him, because we try to be good and supportive friends. Here we go:

There you have it. All links open up in iTunes, and you can keep this playlist for your own wedding/anniversary party.

Filed Under Humour, Music | 3 Comments

NBC Are Jackasses, Pt. II

Posted on September 25, 2007

Everybody and their blog has known about how NBC are dumbasses since they cancelled their deal with iTunes. Now anybody who used to buy their episodes of Heroes or The Office the honest way are now going to have to find a different way to acquire the latest episode of their favorite NBC programming. Usually within an hour of the show’s airing. And in high definition too. Lovin’ it. The shows were already made and paid for with advertising; sales through iTunes were basically free money for NBC.

But there’s one aspect I had not yet thought of about the falling out, not until watching the premiere of a new show called Journeyman last night. (Pretty meh show, but that’s besides the point. All I’m saying is I won’t be tuning in next week.) When NBC first signed on with iTunes, there was an episode of The Office centered all around a new iPod that was much desired by everyone in the office. Just the beginning of loads of Apple product placement in NBC’s shows. Most, if not all, of NBC’s shows for the season have already been filmed and are at least some of the way through the editing and post production process. During Journeyman, some guy travels back to 1987, and promptly notices that his phone doesn’t have service. There is about three seconds of a close up of an iPhone’s screen, literally filling the frame. About 15 minutes later in the episode, there’s another close up, lasting nearly six seconds this time. I imagine there’s going to be lots more product placement across NBC’s programming this year, a bittersweet reminder of what once was.

* * * * *

I was checking TV Guide’s online listings for what time the Heroes premiere began. It started right after a new show called Chuck. Sometimes doing keyword advertising isn’t the greatest. There seems to be a bit of a disconnect in this picture:

* * * * *

jWiltshire.org will be going the Kubrick theme until further notice, because I didn’t like how k2 was playing with the new Wordpress. I’ll whomp up something new soon.

Filed Under Apple, Television | 2 Comments

Guest Column: Goddammed Goverment

Posted on September 24, 2007

Guest Columnist Earl Joe Maynard — Well the goddammed government is at it again. My check is late for the third month in a row. Every month I have to put off buying my bourbon and turkey jerky because some pinhead in a federal office can’t seem to get my check printed on time. Meanwhile he’s probably overpaid because the government ain’t nothin’ but old boys network and dimmycrats. And of course the Jews that run everything.

Of course, it’s not just the Jews that are in charge. Oh no, they couldn’t do it by themselves. They’s in league with the Illuminati, run by Louis Farrakhan. You see, the Illuminati need Farrakhan to control the Moonies and Shining Path while the Black Muslims build a base on the other side of the moon. Once the moon base is completed, the Jews will be able to set up trade with the space-faring Taurans and get interplanetary weapons technology. Of course, this is all unless the Chinese will be able to reanimate the corpse of Mao Zedong and develop interplanetary weapons technology of their own. I fought the damned red menace back in Korea, and now here I am saying that they’re our only hope. Things is crazy these days.

Believe you me, there’s gonna be a great war between Vatican-backed Israel and China soon. You know which side old America’s gonna be on. I have half a mind to go over to Italy and fight the pope myself, course I can’t get Roger and Dwayne down at the VFW to join up with me. Once I get them on my side though you can bet I’ll take care of this whole sitcheeation. Then maybe I could get my goddamned check on time every now and then.

futurabolditalic.com

Posted on September 16, 2007

I should mention I started a proper tumblog over at Futura Bold Italic. I know posting’s been light around here, bein’ as I’ve had lots to do and not much to say, but there’s usually a few posts a day over there, be they pictures, links, videos, or just thoughts. Powered by Tumblr which is great for these sort of things. So go check stuff out.

HAY GUYZ! iPHONE!

Posted on September 14, 2007

Well. You all knew it was going to happen. Everybody’s been asking where’s mine. Doing the finances in Numbers Wednesday night, I noticed that after making car payments for this month and the next two, after paying off some of my credit card debt, putting money into savings for school, and paying off the rest of my bills for the month, I have a little money left over. So I decided to venture up to Omaha and get an iPhone, being as they recently knocked the price down a couple hundy.

Everybody else has already done their iPhone reviews, so I won’t go on for too long about it. Here’s some highlights:

I don’t try to be a tool about it, but so far I haven’t been able to pull the phone out and not attract a bunch of people want to see it and play with it. Hurray! Popularity! Of course it’s hard not to look like a tool though when you have a crowd of people around your phone. That said, I totally love it and regret nothing.

Reading from the manual, I noticed that they are really protective of the phone. Not only do they warn against using the iPhone in a blasting area, I found this little tidbit:

Handling iPhone
Do not drop, disassemble, open, crush, bend, deform, puncture, shred, microwave, paint, or insert foreign objects into iPhone

Notice that it says nothing about blending.

Filed Under Apple, Hurray!, Tech | 5 Comments

Single of the Week: Carlos Gardel

Posted on September 13, 2007

This week we have a very special single of the week. Special ‘cuz you get this song for free. Carlos Gardel was one of the most prominent figures in the history of Tango. An actor and singer, he wrote hundreds of tangos that are still performed today. He died in a plane crash at the age of 45, during the height of his career, creating the image of a tragic hero. Today’s single, “Madreselva”, is perhaps best known for its prominent use in the Italian film Il Postino, and because it’s a damn good song. I feel confident in posting the mp3 because it was recorded over 75 years ago and in another country, so it’s pretty much RIAA proof. Enjoy.

Carlos Gardel’s Madreselva

The Comically Colossal Universal Remote

Posted on September 6, 2007

The remote control to my television decided to have a little stroke the other day. The buttons down the left-hand side no longer work, but most of the middle and all of the right-hand side buttons still function. Having a TV I can turn on, change to channel 68, and turn the volume up, but not turn the volume back down, tune to channel 24, or turn the closed captioning off, is to say the least a bit annoying. So, off to Walgreens I went to find a new, basic universal remote control. And that was when I saw it. A behemoth among remotes. The Colossal Universal Remote. That’s the actual product name, on the package. Only ten dollars, brought to you from the fine folks at Living Solutions.

Imagine it, a remote control so large you can add straps and Shaq can use it as a sandal. So large you can fend off home invaders with it. So large, you need two hands just to change the channel. Like the Black Monolith in Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, it towers above other remote controls, silently forewarning you that the future of the living room shall never be the same.

Sarah laughed when she first saw the remote, laughed in jest at what she assumed could only be a non-functioning novelty remote, or possibly an enormous chocolate bar packaged to look like a large remote control. She laughed until she held its heft in her hands, saw the battery compartment, then pointed it at the TV and realized that the future of entertainment is now, and it is the Colossal Universal Remote. Thank you Walgreens, for bringing the Colossal Universal Remote.

I’ve been told that I am supposed to comment on the new iPod lines. I, for one, am unexcited. Yes, they are all very nice, especially the iPod Classic. I’m glad that they brought back the curved bevel on the top, I miss that little touch on my 5.5G iPod. Also, 160 Gb is an enormous amount of space; I’ve heard plenty of talk about using the larger of the two as a backup drive for Time Machine when Leopard comes out. I hope that that is definitely an option.

The new Nano? Meh. I liked the tall slender form factor over the stout Nano we get now. Understandably, they needed to fatten it up for video, but I don’t see the need for video on a Nano. Are people clamoring to watch The Office Babylon 5 while jogging? If you’re so desperate for video, just cough up for the larger iPods? But that’s just my theory…

Finally, iPod Touch. Once again, I say “Meh.” I know that other people are clamoring for the iPhone-less iPhone. But I see it the other way. I’ve already got an iPod. I don’t need a phone that’s a music player as well. I need a phone that is a web browser and email client and an iCal. But I suppose those people that want the iPod Touch will be happy. I’m personally more excited about another device. No, not the Great Big Remote Control. The Colossal Universal Remote Control.

Filed Under Apple, Humour, Tech | 6 Comments

UNL wins 3 million grant to expand robot-based curriculum

Posted on September 4, 2007

UNL wins 3 million grant to expand robot-based curriculum: “The idea of using small robots to help teach children the science and math at the core of engineering and technology has attracted a 3 million grant.”

At first I thought they were using robots to teach children, which would be awesome (and frightening to children) at the same time, but upon further reading, I see that they are using humans to teach children to build robots. Which I guess is even cooler. I suppose making children cry isn’t the best way to get them to learn (at least, the government won’t give me a grant to research my theory…) Come to think of it, I wish I could have built a robot in school. I guess as a side effect the kids learn math and science and engineering. But mostly I want to build a robot. Some day….

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