Crap.

I guess I should post. It’s been a while. But I got tagged for one of those meme things the kids love so much, not just by Bernie but also by BoK. So I guess I gotta do it. What’s this one about? Oh, six things that are maybe not so well known about me. I may not go as full out as BoK did and talk about shitting myself or anything, but there are still things that are not well known. I am, after all, a man of mystery.

I’m Not a Jerk - At least not as much as I seem. I’m actually really nice underneath it all, and for as much as I say I dislike children, animals, and the elderly, sometimes they can actually grow on me. Sometimes. And whenever I glare at Jill for making me do work, I actually don’t mind so much.

My Bathroom is Fucking Disgusting - Not just bachelor-gross, but like so gross even I don’t like going in there. I have my own private master bathroom, with a toilet and a sink and a medicine cabinet/mirror. The toilet grows this weird black mold that I have to clean away every week, and it keeps coming back no matter how much Clorox I use. Fingernail and toenail clippings usually go into the toilet for easy disposal, but sometimes I miss. Also there are three or four empty toilet paper packages ‘cuz I haven’t thrown them away. And the sink and counter is now covered in hairs because I trimmed my beard last night. I’ve got a stack of eWeek magazines that I’m working through too. And I haven’t taken the little trash out in forever. Not bad for someone who is otherwise generally germophobic.

I Can Remember Names and Details of Every Cute Girl I’ve Ever Met - I’m not creepy, I swear. It’s just that I have a very strong memory for names and faces. And if a girl is attractive, she just stands out that much more. I just have good memory recall, and I like girls. It’s not weird, serious.

I’m a Compulsive Liar - I don’t lie to hurt people, just to have fun. I guess I’m quick-witted and creative enough that I can come up with stuff at the top of my head, and combined with the fact that most people can’t tell when I’m joking and when I’m serious (it’s a blessing… and a curse), I’m a great bullshitter. I just do it to make trouble, and to see how far I can go. And I’ve gone pretty far too, whether I’m making up science, or making up children (that’s a good story, I’ll have to tell that one here some time…)

I Am Not Superstitious At All - I absolutely do not believe in ghosts, spirits, afterlife, bad luck, aliens*, etc. I think it’s all just foolish nonsense.

*It’s not that I don’t believe in life on other planets, I just don’t think they’ve been here any time recently.

I Really Like Whiskey - And vodka, and scotch, and liqueurs and cordials, and booze in general. The good stuff too. If I can devote myself to being a connoisseur of such things, awesome.

Now comes the part wherein with a heavy heart I must pin this meme thing on someone else, lest it die here a sad death like an ignored chain letter promising certain doom. So let’s see, umm, Paul, DB the playa, Mojo Hannah, and erin. Go forth and make yourselves useful!

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