There Oughtta Be a Law

Posted on November 26, 2006

I was in the mall parking lot today. Not on purpose mind you, it was just a shortcut. I’m going down an aisle, almost to the end, when there’s four cars stopped in the middle of the row. It’s someone at the front of the line waiting for a spot to open up. A normal person would only wait if they knew that the car was leaving soon. However, this person apparently was just stopped and waiting to see if anyone would approach a random car, because we were there waiting for a godawful long time. The rule is, you can only wait for a parking spot if the whites of the car’s backing up lights are shining. Otherwise, your just in the way. You are the coldest bitchiest bitch that ever cold-bitched a bitch. So just move out of the way, so I can get to where I’m going.

So How Have You Been?

Posted on November 20, 2006

i know everybody’s tired of seeing Richelle Carey on the front page, as well as hot zombie pirate girls, so I figured I oughtta post something. But I’ve been so busy, I have no idea what to write. So I’ll tell you what’s going on with me. I had a root canal, that was fun. And I get to go back for a crown next week. Yay dental operations! I’ve decided I need to bone up more on my PHP, so I’ll be doing that, and I need to get back into the habit of recording. I’ve been having fun experimenting with alternate tunings on the guitar; I think I should like to have a second guitar (a Stratocaster or a Telecaster, of course) just to bang around on for that purpose. Of course, I still need to get my 12-string guitar as well.

I’ve got some good ideas for some features as well, hopefully those will be coming soon. And anyone have any ideas for what I should do with Robot Shuffle? I have Drupal installed there now and I love the idea of a community site, but I just don’t know for what.

The LJ Halloween Hotties, Pt. 2

Posted on November 7, 2006

Ah, Halloween. Here’s part 2.

Be on the look out as new LJ hotties are always cropping up!

I Need to Stop Doing macZOT

Posted on November 5, 2006

macZOT is a nifty idea for a site. What they do is review popular apps for Mac and give you a hell of a deal on a license. Every now and then they do something crazy, like the blogZOT, which scored me a free copy of AppZapper. Another thing they often do is the MysteryZOTs. A collection of three or four programs that do various things. You don’t know what they are. You only know that they are collectively worth so much money, and you only have to pay a little bit, usually less than 10 bucks. And this is where I get boned. Every time I think, “Oh wow, 40 bucks worth of programs, for only 4 bucks? That’s worth it.” And then I get stuff I absolutely don’t need. But I paid for them, so I feel bad not downloading the apps. And they just sit there. Most of them are things that you think could be useful in a certain situation. But it turns out that certain situation never comes up. The only remotely useful app I ever got was Direct Mail, for if I ever decide to start a mailing list. xPad seems like a cool TextEdit replacement, but offered little that I needed that TextEdit didn’t already have, and their website is unavailable for an unknown reason. Perhaps they recieved a cease and desist from Xpad, the laptop cooling device. So, so far, I’ve spent about twenty bucks on these, and recieved crap. Maybe next time though… That’s when I’ll get lucky and get something cool.

The LJ Halloween Hotties, Pt. 1

Posted on November 3, 2006

The best part of halloween? Hot chicks in sexy costumes. And these once again come via Livejournal.com.

This is only part one mind you. Part two will come next week!

What I’ll do When I’m Rich

Posted on November 1, 2006

Sarah was telling me about a horrible customer at work today (Sarah is a floor manager at a department store, so most days she comes home with a story of retail horror.) About a customer who was pissed off because his pants weren’t discounted by a coupon, because it was Valuepriced. His argument was that they can call anything Valuepriced just to get out of discounting it. She checked, and sure enough, there was a big display above the pants that said “Valuepriced“.

So one day, when I’m rich, I’m going to get a job working retail. And when Mr. Crabby-pants comes up complaining about his coupon, I will say “Come here.” And we will walk over to the pants. And I will point at the sign that says Valuepriced and I will say, “Well there is that, but let me check to make sure it’s right.” And then I will call Jimmy. Jimmy is the 13-year old retarded boy who I pay to live in a plastic Playskool house in the middle of the store. And Jimmy will come over and ask “Yes?” and I will reply “Jimmy, what does that sign above those pants say?” And Jimmy will say, in his own retarded way, “Valuepriced“. “And this reciept, what does it say?” “It says Valuepriced.” “And the coupon?” “It says, no good for Valuepriced items.” And Jimmy will take off his pointy cone hat tied on with a bit of elastic and put it over the head of the angry customer, belittling him everso in his own retarded way, and say “Here you go.” And he will go back to the little plastic house and the customer will know better to question me because he wanted to save a buck sixty-five.

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