Words Truly Cannot Express how Deeply I Feel the Sentiment to Bone You
Posted on July 28, 2006
Guest Columnist Joe Park — Baby, tonight I feel we’ve truly made a life-enduring connection. And I’d like to build up our relationship by pounding you with this erection I have, pounding you out of love. I know we met only just yesterday, but the jewel in your eyes, the shine in your hair, and the smile that men would start wars over, all mean a lot to me. Specifically, they mean “Let’s fuck”.
I know you feel it too. I can hear in the way you titter when I compliment you that your heart is opening up like a flower in bloom, and I hope that your legs will too. When I get lost in your eyes, I see them as a window into your soul. Your eyes look at me with a longing, like it’s something you’ve never felt. Like you are waiting for me to sweep you off your feet, hand you a dozen roses, kiss you gently, and tell you, “Baby, let’s slam.”
I’m here to tell you that I feel we can make that commitment, a commitment that begins with me unhooking your bra and will continue on with you leaving before I have to work in the morning. And who knows, maybe this spark I feel between us will burn brightly into a big flame of passion and repeated sexual congress. I have tried to be poetic, but even the words of Shakespeare could not express how deeply I feel for you, and how deep I want to feel in you.
Filed Under Guest Columns, Humour |
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joe you really need to get a life and stop showing what a narrow minded person you are,your comments about the imaginary person in you pea brain really has you in a tizzy.the real deal is you cant find a girl in real life so you just spend time dreaming up one.what a loser and who was dumb enough to give you a job as a guest columnist anyway you both should be fired,him for hiring you and you for for impersonating a writer.stop listening to the little voices in your head as they are misinforming you.