Raising Cane’s: A Brief Review

Posted on July 31, 2006

Raising Cane’s is a new fast food restaurant that opened up in town last month. They’ve been around for 10 years (I think that’s what the cup said, their website is kind of uninformative) with locations primarily in the South and Midwest. Their focus is chicken fingers, with a menu consisting of: chicken fingers, and a chicken finger sandwich. Options for sides are: cole slaw, fries, and toast. A very limited menu. But what they do, they do well.

I opted for the Box Combo, which consists of four strips. fries, cole slaw, a piece of toast, and a cup of the Cane sauce. The strips were very good. They cut them from fresh chicken breasts on site and marinate them for 24 hours before preparation. The breading was soft, but not soggy, and not too thick or gummy. The fries were quite good. They weren’t too crisp or too wormy, and they were well-seasoned, which is a good thing because I didn’t have any ketchup. As for the cole slaw, it was very crisp and fresh; I’m guessing they prepare it on site as well. I am accustomed to (and prefer) a little sweeter slaw, but it was still very good. The toast was a little moist from the humidity inside the styrofoam container. The box has little vent holes at the four corners to counteract this, but some humidity is still there. Not exciting, but it’s a piece of toast.

Finally, there’s the sauce. The sauce was not nearly as Cane raising as I had expected. I thought it was going to be a hotter flavor, but as it turns out it is very mild, with a vaguely southwestern flavor. Very mellow.

There’s only one thing about the restaurant that bothers me. But it really bothers me. They have got to come up with a better trademark. It’s a dog. Wearing fucking sunglasses. That’s the best they could do. A picture of a fucking dog wearing sunglasses. That’s lamer than lame. I guess it’s the owners dog or something, and the restaurant is named for the dog or something, but still. It’s a fucking dog in sunglasses. It may as well be wearing a fucking Hawaiian shirt. Christ.

Two Neat Things Today

Posted on July 29, 2006

While perusing my RSS reader today I happened upon two stories that I thought were so cool I had to share them here. Both of these come from the Weblogs, Inc. family of blogs. First off, via Slashfood, the Japanese (who will some day invent the robots that will conquer mankind and make us their servants. Silence!) have invented a robot that tastes wine. The smart little guy can detect over thirty types of grapes as well as blends. From the Slashfood post:

In size it is about twice as large as a 3-litre wine box and consists of a microcomputer and an optical sensing instrument. For analysis, a 5 millilitre sample of wine is poured into a tray in front of the machine. Light emitting diodes then fire infrared light at the sample and the reflected light is sensed by an array of photodiodes.

By identifying the wavelengths of infrared light that have been absorbed by the sample, NEC says the wine-bot can correctly identify the unique organic components of 30 popular wines within 30 seconds.

As we all know, robots need alcohol to function normally. Otherwise they fall into disrepair and delirium. Please note that the robot pictured is not the winebot, but a different robot pouring a glass of wine. I just like robots.

The other story of the day comes from Autoblog, about a German company that specializes in customization. For one customer, they installed a 17″ iMac between the front seats, sitting on the transmission tunnel. The Mac user on the go can control the iMac with a wireless keyboard and mouse, or, presumably, a Front Row remote. While I’ve always been more of a BMW guy, I could fully rock a CLS, particularly with an iMac inside. I guess I’ll be making a call to Mattes Interieurtechnik. Even though I’m not sure how to pronounce that. F’ing Krauts.

Words Truly Cannot Express how Deeply I Feel the Sentiment to Bone You

Posted on July 28, 2006

Guest Columnist Joe Park — Baby, tonight I feel we’ve truly made a life-enduring connection. And I’d like to build up our relationship by pounding you with this erection I have, pounding you out of love. I know we met only just yesterday, but the jewel in your eyes, the shine in your hair, and the smile that men would start wars over, all mean a lot to me. Specifically, they mean “Let’s fuck”.

I know you feel it too. I can hear in the way you titter when I compliment you that your heart is opening up like a flower in bloom, and I hope that your legs will too. When I get lost in your eyes, I see them as a window into your soul. Your eyes look at me with a longing, like it’s something you’ve never felt. Like you are waiting for me to sweep you off your feet, hand you a dozen roses, kiss you gently, and tell you, “Baby, let’s slam.”

I’m here to tell you that I feel we can make that commitment, a commitment that begins with me unhooking your bra and will continue on with you leaving before I have to work in the morning. And who knows, maybe this spark I feel between us will burn brightly into a big flame of passion and repeated sexual congress. I have tried to be poetic, but even the words of Shakespeare could not express how deeply I feel for you, and how deep I want to feel in you.

What’s Up Sluts

Posted on July 21, 2006

Just so you all know, I have horrible tonsillitis. I’ll try to get a picture later, but right now rightie is swollen up to about the size of a Whoppers malt ball. And both of them are covered in white thingies. After doing much research on Wikipedia and throughout the series of tubes that is not a truck, I’ve found that my symptoms point to a viral infection, not a bacterial one. DB is on my case about seeing a doctor, but being as I am among the uninsured, the internet is my doctor. And the free clinic is already full up for next week. The only real treatment is gargling salt water (ick) or taking throat lozenges, and waiting for it to clear up in three days to a week. So that’s what I’m doing. Wait for pictures of a huge tonsil soon.

UPDATE 1: A few people suggested gargling warm salt water. I tried that. The nasty taste of the salt water made me gag and the coughing made my throat hurt even more. I’m just gonna get lozenges instead.

UPDATE 2: I took DB’s advice and went to the doctor this morning. It was cheaper than I thought it would be. I have strep throat and am now on Amoxycillin (875 mg) and Naproxen (200 mg). It still hurts like hell when I swallow, both my tonsils are still covered in white pools of bacteriological nastiness, and righty is still swollen all the way up, but there should be marked improvement by Monday according to the doctor. Blurry, nasty, inter-oral pictures coming soon.

Big Moving Update

Posted on July 17, 2006

I’ve been holding off on this post for about a week, being as it’s been super busy at work. But that’s done now. It looks like I’m no longer boned. That is a step up. I am now moving in with Sarah, one of Shelby’s J.C. Penney friends. We applied to move into some apartments that are just five blocks down the road from where I live now, so moving will be easy. They have our deposit, so they have to hold it for us. We’re just waiting on approval, which won’t be a problem. My goal is to get the keys on Friday and be done moving by next Tuesday.

The apartments are very nice and I will be paying about the same as what I pay now, but with full basic cable. And being closer to work will save me a minute or two off of my commute. Another bonus: A working dishwasher. However, I do have to make some purchases before moving:

• Dishes, silverware, and glasses
• A microwave
• Maybe a toaster oven
• A bathrobe
• A robot butler, or maybe just a Roomba

Good thing I put in like 60 hours this week. Additional bonus: First full month is free. Which means no rent for August.

It’s About Time

Posted on July 7, 2006

I just found out via ifo Apple Store that there’s a good chance an Apple store will be opening up in Omaha, Nebraska. They found out via a few Monster.com listings for Apple retail and technical specialists in Village Pointe shopping center. The store is supposedly set to open in late 2006. I will have to clear a spot for the opening. And hopefully get one of them free t-shirts they hand out.

My 4th of July

Posted on July 6, 2006

(That’s the American Independence Day for you unwashed foreign heathens.)

I was debating whether or now I should post this, being as I don’t typically post a lot of stuff from my own life (that’s why I make up other people to post on this blog). But since it was definitely a bizarre night that I in no manner planned for nor knew was going to happen. It was one of those nights where I just sat back and went for a ride.

I worked until 7 that night, then stopped off for a little dinner since I hadn’t eaten all day, due to the fact that I was coming off of a nasty stomach bug. So I did the best thing one can do when overcoming illness: I went to Lonestar and got a Steak ‘n’ Salmon combo. I headed home expecting a quiet night of checking my email and going to bed relatively early. I was wrong.

Shelby got home from work around tennish, and I was sitting on the porch listening to fireworks (big trees right off of my balcony prevent me from actually seeing anything). My phone rang but since I was outside I didn’t hear it; I just noticed through the window that Shelby was picking it up. It was her friend Sarah, calling me. Sarah and I are very likely going to be roommates soon, and so she was calling to see if we wanted to go out that night. Shelby did the talking, and wouldn’t tell me where we were going. It ended up being the Q, a popular gay bar in downtown Lincoln. Thank God I was looking cute that night, the last thing I need was a bunch of snarky comments about the straight dude in the Iron Maiden t-shirt. Shelby also would not allow me to wear my Afternoon Delight t-shirt.

We made it to the Q and met up with Sarah, and Sarah’s friends Jeff and Phil. Jeff and Phil are a cute little gay couple, and Phil, being the drunkest, was the driving force behind the night’s turn of events. The Q was pretty empty, only like six dudes there, but the bartender was hell of cute, so there was that. We only stayed for about 20 minutes, enough time for me to waste 10 dollars on drinks that I never caught a buzz from. Phil decided that we ought to head across the street to the adult bookstore with the little porno theatre inside.

Off we went to the porn shop to visit the little theatre. The way the theatre works is as such: You pay the clerk five dollars if you’re alone, or seven dollars for a couple. Since we were five, Sarah had to pay five dollars while we all paired off for the discounted rate. You are then issued a card with a magnetic strip, a la the modern hotel room key. You then feed the card into the reader next to the door to the theater which unlocks it for you. Inside the door is a dark snaking hallway which leads you to a room with a big screen TV and three rows of four theatre style chairs that you hope and pray get cleaned on a regular basis. Right before the hallway is a machine for you to deposit your card into when you are finished. Naturally, Phil put his card into the box as soon as he saw it, so we had to share cards when he left to talk to the clerk later.

We made our way into the theatre and began to watch the classic “Midget Madness”. To be honest the actress in the movie was actually a dwarf, but I am guessing that the producer was going for alliteration in the title and not realism, so let’s not split hairs. What we gleamed from the plot was that two nerds, tired of being virgins, wanted to lose their virginity, and not in any of the traditional methods, oh no. They wrote a computer program that generated a hologram of a dwarf woman (whether that was a bug in the code or was their intention, I missed) that they proceeded to have sex with together. A favorite line from the scene was one of the nerds proclaiming, mid-coitus, “Oh my god she’s so small!”

Phil, tired of all the heterosexual (weird as it may have been) sex, at this point left to pick out a gay movie for the clerk to put in. He selected “Bareback Mountain”, a weak parody of Brokeback Mountain, consisting mostly of vaguely Eastern European-looking men in western wear playing pool and making cowboy dares involving sexual congress with each other. Phil was deeply upset that the movie involved no actual barebacking, and as there was no way to placate him we elected to leave for the lads’ apartment after two scenes. Apparently cowboys leave their socks on during sex, too. As we left, Sarah, instead of depositing her card into the card box, didn’t look and deposited her ID. Because the card box is a kind of machine, the clerk can’t get the cards out, a technician comes down from South Dakota once a week. So Sarah was unable to retrieve her ID until today.

Arriving at the apartment, a rather divish place complete with a crackhead living on the first floor, Phil decided to put in a dreadful Peter Jackson zombie movie, Braindead. In all its gore, this movie truly sucked. Even the boys grew disinterested in the film and wandered off to another room to do who knows what. Shelby left halfway through, and Sarah fell asleep next to me, waking up occasionally to be grossed out. After the movie ended, it was just me and her so we put in some Family Guy. (It should be noted that Phil does not own a single DVD, instead having stacks and stacks of burnt disks with .avi files that are playable on his DVD player.) We hung out for a while and then around five decided to call it a night.

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