Guest Column: If I Were a Gay Dude I’d Totally Do Anderson Cooper
Posted on May 27, 2006
Guest Columnist Steve Whitaker — I’m totally not gay or anything, not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, I’m just not, but if I were, I’d totally do Anderson Cooper.
I mean, let’s face it. He is pretty hot for a dude. Not that I like dudes, I swear I’m not, uh, I don’t like dudes. He’s got some pretty good taste in music and stuff though. He likes the Clash and Devo and Arctic Monkeys and stuff. The Arctic Monkeys are my friends on MySpace, and I like that “Whip It” song. So I think we’d get along there. And he likes suits. I totally have a rockin’ suit from my sister’s communion two years ago. We could be like stylin’ bros ‘n’ shit.
I heard his mom was that lady that sold jeans on tv or whatever. That’s cool, I think that means he comes from money. If I were gay, which I’m not, I’d go for a guy with money. And he’s got cool eyes. I mean for a dude. Like you’d be all huggin’ on him and he’d be staring back at you with those eyes and you’d get lost forever in his eyes ‘nd shit. Not that I’d be like that ‘cuz I’m totally into chicks and stuff, I mean, yeah I’m a single dude right now because Lindsey Hansmeyer broke up with me when she caught me looking at her brother’s package, but I was just comparing, for reference and stuff. Not like checking him out or anything. I totally like chicks.
Filed Under Guest Columns, Humour | 6 Comments
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Dude, you’re so gay, admit it. No real straight guy has that kind of thoughts. Your beliefs on doing that dude were so strong you had to post about it.
You probably have that little gay in you trying to overcome your personality, face it, you’re a little gay.
I would not mind giving him a scalp massage with some just for men sometime. Not that I am gay or nothing.
I mean I am only about 9% gay. I need not watch sports to prove my manlyness (hot dude oin dude violence does nothing for me.) I cry at any Disney movie, My lifepartners wedding dress was made by a gay friend, I could prob smoke a good pole, but I am not gay. I like flowers and stuffis, but I am not gay.
I sometimes like to ….. I am not gay.
hmmm. I vote gay.
What one does outside of their sexual orientation doesn’t define them as being gay or not. What does? Look it up in the dictionary to find out. People abuse the word to mean bad things only because once upon a time it was completely taboo and wronged for little reason, and so the word “gay” was unfairly given a negative connotation.
And people saying they’re X% gay is just absurd. There’s not even any scientific basis for any of that, and as far as I can tell it is extremely immeasurable.
Sorry to rain on your gay parade
how AC can pull off the white doo and still be a TV guy is pretty cool
But really just for men. Just a little at a time. you know ease it in so we hardly nitice the change.
Gay or straight, it doesn’t matter! This was a humorous entry, and I greatly enjoyed it.
Plus, I check out women’s goods all the time and I’m not a lesbian. I’m just curious how I compare! Anyhow, I got a good chuckle, so much thanks. Hehe. I think I’ll go laugh some more…