An Open Letter to Women
Posted on May 16, 2006Just for future reference, when I’m talking to you, be it in phone or in person, I do not give ten shits about the following:
- Your cats.
- Your boyfriend.
- Your ex-boyfriend.
- What you bought when you went shopping today.
- Your kids, the kids you babysit, kids you know, and any kids you might have seen today.
- Your assorted diseases.
- The time you almost wet the bed.
- The really cute/funny/weird thing your mom said.
- Any other really boring stories you might have.
That is all.
Filed Under Humour, Lists, Meta, Open Letters, Rants |
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dam I hate cats
Damn dude, that’s a lot of anger. I’m impressed!
How funny would it be for someone that you thought this about actually read it! HOOO HOOO HOOO :tears up:
that would be teh awesome!
i dont know which one applies to me… i did however buy a really cute shirt today, i have no kids or cats, i have no boyfriend, i do have lots of ex’s though, and this one time when i was in third grade i left.
Duly noted. Please note:
1) I don’t give a crap about sports. Yes, that includes football, baseball, basketball, hockey, and a host of other sports. There is not even one that I could even remotely see myself caring about. No, not even soccer.
2) Foreplay should last more than 5 minutes. Always. Absolutely no exception. And yes, foreplay should involve your tongue in all sorts of places.
3) Oh, and that amazing orgasm I just had? Where I screamed your name, grabbed the bedposts, and called out and “God, yes!” and “Don’t stop!”? Fake. Please see note #2.
4) No, your burping and your farting will NEVER be okay with me. And no, I will not “kindly fetch you another beer”. Go get it yourself.
5) No, I don’t like your “buddies”.
6) That back hair? Get it waxed. Otherwise, I’m not shaving either.
7) Oh, and size doesn’t matter?? That’s a myth. It matters. A LOT.
Thank you.