Area Man Cockblocked by Intended Target’s Own Boring Stories

Posted on April 29, 2006

Local unemployed man James Brennan was fully intending to have sexual congress with area copywriter Amanda Wilson when her own banal stories about what she bought last week while shopping and failed attempts at flirting had bored Brennan so outright that he gave up on any chance of intercourse.

Brennan was sitting at the bar at Happy Jack’s, a favorite hangout of his when he noticed Wilson. He offered to buy her a drink, hoping that after a few more he would be able to sway her into returning back to his nearby apartment for drunken intercourse. After chatting with Wilson for a while, Brennan thought that the opportunity was approaching, and he was about to make his move when Wilson said “Oh my god! You’ll never guess what I bought at Fashion Bug today!” Brennan knew he was in it for a while. “By now I had already invested three drinks in her and figured I’ve gone this far, I may as well hold out.”

However, by the fifth drink, Wilson was describing her experience in the bar the previous night when she tried to pick up a guy but he was totally, like involved in the football game on one of the bar’s many big screen televisions, Brennan realized that his attempts were futile. He gave a poor attempt at claiming that he had a meeting in the morning, and shuffled out dejected.

Wilson was seen leaving the on-duty bartender’s apartment the next morning.

Friday Random 5

Posted on April 28, 2006

It’s getting late. I owe you a Friday Random 5.

• Reincidentes – Sueño con Serpientes | This is a cover that honestly doesn’t compare to Silvio Rodriguez’s classic. But it’s definitely a good effort. I do like the jangly guitar work however.
• Her Flyaway Manner – Fireside | HFM is a local group. These guys rock. They can often be found at Lincoln Blog. Word.
• Kaiser Chiefs – I Heard It Through the Grapevine | I’m not much for that indie rock that the kids are listening to these days, but these lads do a good rendition of the Marvin Gaye classic. It’s original at least.
• Chuck Mangione – The Xith Commandment | Listening to Chuck Mangione play the flugelhorn feels so good. This song’s got a sweet little mellow thing going through it. Kinda spyish. And I know, in person, someone who plays a flugelhorn. How many of you can say that?
• Michael Jackson – Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough | Old school Mike is still the shit. Even if he is a crazy recluse broke-ass pervert now.

Also, did you know that YouTube moves over 200 Terabytes of data a day? That’s fucking insane.

Why I Don’t Like Windows

Posted on April 26, 2006

Since I’ve installed XP on my iMac, I’ve been booting into Windows roughly once a week. What happens when I boot up in XP? I run game, start playing Yahoo! Literati (games.yahoo.com is Windows only. F’ers.) and chill out for a few minutes, until the Norton pops up to let me know that I need to update my virus definitions. I get halfway through a game of Literati when the virus definitions are updated, and need me to restart. Since I’m restarting I let it default start into OSX.

So, sum up: I pretty much boot once a week into Windows, solely to update virus definitions that don’t do me any good the other 98% of the time I’m using my computer.

However, OpenOffice’s Windows build is pretty awesome. At least compared to OSX’s NeoOffice which has always sucked like a dog for me. Ironically I use OpenOffice in Windows, and Microsoft Office in OSX. Strange that.

Single of the Week

Posted on April 25, 2006

Let’s see, single of the week… I’m checking the library, looking for the new hottness. Here we go. This week’s single is Wes Montgomery’s Four on Six. Wes was an incredible jazz guitarist as is evidenced on this album (“The Incredible Jazz Guitar of Wes Montgomery”), recorded as a quartet. And according to Wikipedia he’s the grandfather of some guy that’s on Star Trek: Enterprise. Who knew.

Friday Random Fizzzive

Posted on April 21, 2006

It’s here again. You know you love it.

• Ratatat – Spanish Armada | Ratatat is awesome. About the only Spanish influence is the rasguea in the song, and maybe the chord pattern, but it’s hard to tell because they use this chord pattern all over the album.
• Steely Dan – Reelin’ in the Years | Yeah I know, I’m pretty surprised I have some Steely Dan in my library too. I think I downloaded this because I heard it in a Village Inn once or something. Still, not a bad song.
• Kraftwerk – Autobahn (Live auf Berlin) | I’ve been going through a Kraftwerk phase lately. I just can’t get enough early German techno.
• Roy Paci – Rosaria | Roy Paci is an incredible trumpet player. To really hear his talents you have to check out Manu Chao’s live album. But on this album Paci is with his own band, doing some old-style dancehall. Diggin’ it.
• Bryan Ferry – Sympathy for the Devil | I like this. Bryan Ferry does a lounge-y, glam-my version of the Rolling Stones classic. I defy you to not go “whoo-hoo” along with the chorus.

iTunes, bitches.

Thank You Hardees

Posted on April 20, 2006

Thank you Hardees, for being awesome. (Those of you on the west coast may know monsieur Hardees as Carl’s, Jr.) We haven’t had a Hardees in Lincoln in years, and I dare say I miss them. However, I will also admit that it is most likely best for my health that we don’t have one here. Once while out in California, I had a chance to enjoy an awesome western burger (bacon cheeseburger with bbq sauce and inexplicably, an onion ring… so delicious…) But anyway, this little hunk of love is the Philly Cheeseburger. Yeah that’s right, it’s all the fillings of a Philly cheesesteak, on top of Hardee’s famous 1/3 lb Thickburger. Yeah, it’s a big honkin’ pile of meat-on-meat action. I must eat one….

Read | Via Slashfood

Around the Joshosphere

Posted on April 15, 2006

Because I know you don’t read. Here’s what’s going on:

• Over at Marinatin’, there are some posts about various food experiments around the web, as well as the super-secret idea for a new revolution in food, the Cowpiggen.
• Bad Blogs is coming back to semi-regular posting, with the usual misspellings, aggravation, and drama that one could expect.
• Robot Shuffle is back again, kinda, with more robot news for you to disseminate. (DB, don’t let me forget to renew that domain.)
• Finally, there is an under-utilized forum at fresa.jwiltshire.org. Mostly because I didn’t really tell anyone. But it’s based on Vanilla, and pretty slick. Word.

Oh yeah, and I switched to a 3-column format thanks to Bharath Kumar‘s K2 hacking. I like it. Mostly because it looks good on my widescreen Mac display. Suckers.

Finally Friday Random 5

Posted on April 14, 2006

I finally got around to doing this again (I been busy these past few weeks.) Here’s some hot tracks and deep cuts for ya.

• The Mighty Mighty Bosstones – Issachar | Bosstones are always a good way to start off a list. This is one of their faster songs, definitely showing off their xcore roots.
• Manu Chao & Radio Bemba Sound System – Promiscuity | No iTunes on this one. If you have to get one Manu Chao album, his live album is the way to go. The energy you feel off of the live show is incredible. And it does a good job of mixing, which is something that has plagued live albums for a long time.
• Buck 65 – In Every Home a Heartache | One of Buck’s stranger songs (and that’s saying something), it’s composed off a drumbeat, a synth bass, and some crazy freeform sax. Buck whispers similarly freeform poetry over it.
• Bill Withers – Lovely Day | It actually is a lovely day. There were hell of cuties on the bike trail today. Anyway, Bill Withers has an awesome voice. The man made some classic ’70′s R&B.
• Deltron 3030 – Things You Can Do | Off the Deltron 3030 concept album, this is a hot track produced by Dan the Automator. Del solo is good. Del working with Dan is great.

All links open in iTunes yadda yadda.

The Easter Turducken

Posted on April 14, 2006

Hot on the heels of my post about the Cowpiggen (Never mind, apparently I never posted that idea) comes the Easter turducken. It’s actually a small chocolate easter egg, shoved up the rear of a Peep, and then put up the rear of a hollow chocolate bunny. Despite the fact that i find both Peeps and Easter chocolate disgusting, this is awesome

Read | Via Teh Internets

(For those wondering about the cowpiggen, here’s the original idea. Basically, a whole roasted chicken, shoved up a broiled pig carcass, then in the body cavity of a cow, and deep fat fried. Mmmmmmmmm.)

The Cadbury Egg Cake

Posted on April 11, 2006

Aww, the wonders of science. Livejournalist Jay Barnes decided to investigate the cake making properties of Cadbury Eggs.

Experiment:

Replace ordinary eggs in cake recipe with Cadbury Creme Eggs and observe results.

Hypothesis:

THIS IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME

Needless to say, it didn’t exactly come out right. (According to Shelby, eggs mostly act as food glue, so this is why.) But it’s still awesome.
Read | Via Boing Boing

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