Bush Nominates Michael Brown to the Supreme Court
Posted on October 29, 2005Washington-In a move that stunned both the left and the right, President George W. Bush named former FEMA director Michael “Brownie” Brown to the SCOTUS. Brown, who resigned after much controversy over his handling of hurricane Katrina federal response, will face a tough lot of critics to be appointed. President Bush had this to say: “Brownie has the right stuff to be on the Supreme Court. I know he may not have any judicial experience in the traditional sense, but as citycouncilman for Edmond Oklahoma and the stuff he did with that horse club, I know that Brownie will do a heck of a job deciding on court stuff.” Democratic Representative Nancy Pelosi immediately resigned in shock at the audacity of Mr Bush’s “blatant cronyism, all over again.”
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New Word
Posted on October 28, 2005Fiestacide: n, When a good party dies out, or turns bad by the actions of a person or persons.
Aww you killed the party man. Total fiestacide.
Etymology: Span., “Fiesta” “Party”, L., “-icide” “Killing”.
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Ho Ho Ho
Posted on October 24, 2005Last night Shelby and I decided that a double pack of pre-medicated douche, with one douche left, that you got off of an internet freecycle group, would pretty much be the worse Christmas present to get your girlfriend ever.
Filed Under King of Internets, Rants | 4 Comments
Words and Phrases I am Officially Done With, 2005 Edition
Posted on October 22, 2005- “Flip Flopping” – This is a ridiculous accusation of anyone, as if nobody is allowed to change positions based on new information or whatever. And besides, the election was a year ago, so no more of this.
- Anything quoted from Napoleon Dynamite – This technically should be on the 2004 list, but unfortunately it’s still around, though hopefully on its last legs. The movie sucked. Like a retarded 10 year old trying to write a Wes Anderson script, the movie meandered and depended entirely on a few catch phrases that any jackass with a hundred bucks and a screen printing machine can put on a t-shirt and sell.
- “Exit Strategy” – Based solely on the fact that we lack one with Iraq, suddenly everything needs or lacks an exit strategy. Ford needs an exit strategy from employee price discounts; the senator needs an exit strategy from the latest accusations; your mom needs an exit strategy from the sofa.
- “Vote for Pedro” – Sorry, but I just had to reiterate the Napoleon Dynamite thing
- “MSM (Mainstream Media)” – This is a phrase used by blogger douchebags who want to make it seem like they’re the “underground, hip cool news” crowd. Really, the biggest thing bloggers have accomplished was that whole “was Bush wearing a wire” during the the ‘04 presidential debate with Kerry. What have you done for me lately?
My Day in Court
Posted on October 20, 2005I went to court today; I was sued for alleged unpaid utilities by my previous roommate. A bit of trivial personal nastiness I will admit; but we most do these things at various points in our lives. After being served the summons, we received a letter from the producers of Judge Mathis offering to let us come on the show; in hindsight it would’ve been cool to do that, but oh well.
We showed up in court today, I wearing a snazzy suit, which I feel I should do more often. We met up with the plaintiff, whom I’ve not spoken with since this bit of nastiness began, we joked around and were civil, but I don’t know if there was underlying tension or not. We were offered a chance at mediation; the lady in charge of that had weird gnarled baby hands that went at a right angle from her wrist, but she could still write and such, so that’s good for her.
The first thing I noticed is that actual small claims court is less entertaining than the courts on tv. Much less. And there was no big black guy serving as a bailiff to hand documents to the judge and such. But we got along anyway. I think everything went well, but we’ll wait to see when the judgement is handed down from on high, or through the mail in a few days, whichever happens first.
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Roblog Readers: A Letter to You
Posted on October 17, 2005Anyone who started reading the Roblog, and then tried to follow it to its new domain at roblog.us, ignore that. It’s going to stay at news.robotshuffle.com until DB gets back from International Automotive Podcasters Union convention in Fhloston Paradise, Texas. At which point, I’ll buy a new domain through GoDaddy and not have to go through the pain in the ass that is Yahoo. So, I’ve got a few ideas for domains. Anyone who wants to vote can do so in the comments.
- robolicious.net
- robolicio.us
- ro.bolicio.us
- robosexual.us
Again, feel free to leave comments, and remember to keep reading over at news.robotshuffle.com.
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New Sandwich Idea for Burger King
Posted on October 16, 2005I better patent this one. Take a piece of veal and wrap it in a 10 oz top sirloin steak. Lay it on a bed of a dozen eggs and four ham patties on a hoagie bun. Add a package of bacon over the top and melt two pounds of cheese to top everything off. Serve with 64 oz overroasted coffee.
Geek Squad
Posted on October 15, 2005Standing around at Best Buy the other day, waiting in the customer service line while the crowd of mouth-breathers in front of me try to figure out why they can’t return the home stereo they bought last month with the missing speaker grilles and the scratched-up subwoofer and not get full credit, I noticed the group of Geek Squad members standing around. In the advertisements, they’re sort of photographed as this group of debonair nerds; in fact in real life, when they’re just milling about, or walking around in pairs, they look like bloody Mormons. It’s the exact same uniform: black shoes/socks, pants, belt and tie, and a white short-sleeved shirt. Dorky haircuts commonly worn by geeks match the dorky haircuts oft worn by Mormons as well. So when you see them walking down the street, often in pairs for some reason, how do you tell the difference?
Luckily, I’m here for you. Mormons, usually carry a couple of bibles, and occasionally a black courier-style bag. Geek Squads have about 6 different devices clipped to their belt. They carry Mountain Dew, or sometimes Sobe, for thirst. And finally, if their rank in the Squad is high enough, a dorky badge. Good luck to you.
A Selection of Haiku from My High School Study Hall
Posted on October 14, 2005I had a study hall my junior year of high school, that made me dreadfully bored. So I would tell the study hall monitor that I had homework to do in the library, and he would generally let me go. At study hall, I’d just mess around with the computers and type up haiku with Marshall Bunde. Going through some old files, I found a folder with all of them. There are 25 pages of this stuff, averaging about 10 poems per page. It’s largely a collection of rants against canada, or commentary on what was going on around us.
i speed quickly
smoking your dad’s vehicle
damn you drive slowly!hamburger nite tonight
at the v.f.w.
with drunk veteransjoe nailed marilyn
monroe in the joe love bunk
joe led a good lifedespite all my rage
i’m sill just a rat in a cage
i must run my wheeldunbar: borracho
keep tom away from whiskey
damn you wild turkey!you broke us women
made us what we are today
damn you pussy-whipfrench fries don’t come
from the gaulish land of france
which is a good thing
This was before Marshall started taking drugs.
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What’s Been Happening Lately on Robot Shuffle?
Posted on October 12, 2005I posted 4 blog posts to the blog (3 of them will come out over the next week.) That’s how I’ve been working the blog lately. Over a week, I come up with 4 or 5 ideas for posts, and jot them down. I usually throw away one or two in the process. Then when I’m feeling bored or creative, I write them all up at once, and post them to Wordpress, but set them on a timer of sorts, so that they are published every other day or so. That way there’s constantly something new up and the readership doesn’t get bored, which I fear may have happened as of late, due to lack of posting.
I added Google ads to the sites last week as well. I don’t really know why; I don’t expect to make any money from it. But it seemed like a neat experiment, and everyone else is doing it, so I thought I’d try it as well. It seems so far that I’m stuck at 91 cents. Hopefully proper contextual ads will kick in soon, and I won’t have just robot ads up.
I started the Robot News blog this week as well. That was an idea that kind of came out of the Adsense experiment. I was getting nothing but robot ads, so I may as well do posts about robots. It’s sort of a place for robot news, as it were. I get stuff in my RSS reader about robots, and email alerts for robots in the news, and I pick out the stories I like and post up a few a day. It’s something I’d like to expand, as well as improve the look of the site eventually, when I get time to do that sort of thing. And if I find like-minded robot people, I’d like to expand it further and have other writers. Some day…
Only a few Bad Blogs posts lately, I’ve been doing other things that prevent me from probing the blogosphere. More frequent updates will happen soon, don’t worry.
Finally, the Gallery is back too. I got tired of running out of bandwidth on Flickr, so I’m going back to this. It won’t be updated as often though, it’s kind of on the backburner for me right now.
