News Hottie of the Week
Posted on October 31, 2005
This week’s news hottie is Ana Maria Canseco of Univision’s “Despierta America” (”Wake Up America!”). Let’s face it, I could do a whole other feature on “Hotties of Univision”, but we won’t go there. However, there is at least one other Univision news hottie that I’ve got in mind for later. Among Ana Maria’s passions include shoes, apparently, which is why she’s teamed up with crappy shoe store chain Payless Shoesource to become Payless’s ambassador to Latino shoe wearers. She also occasionally fills in on the entertainment/rumours reporting show, “El Gordo y la Flaca” (”The Fat Guy and the Skinny Horse Faced Woman”). And that’s about all I’ve got, because the internet has failed me on this one.
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Bush Nominates Michael Brown to the Supreme Court
Posted on October 29, 2005Washington-In a move that stunned both the left and the right, President George W. Bush named former FEMA director Michael “Brownie” Brown to the SCOTUS. Brown, who resigned after much controversy over his handling of hurricane Katrina federal response, will face a tough lot of critics to be appointed. President Bush had this to say: “Brownie has the right stuff to be on the Supreme Court. I know he may not have any judicial experience in the traditional sense, but as citycouncilman for Edmond Oklahoma and the stuff he did with that horse club, I know that Brownie will do a heck of a job deciding on court stuff.” Democratic Representative Nancy Pelosi immediately resigned in shock at the audacity of Mr Bush’s “blatant cronyism, all over again.”
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New Word
Posted on October 28, 2005Fiestacide: n, When a good party dies out, or turns bad by the actions of a person or persons.
Aww you killed the party man. Total fiestacide.
Etymology: Span., “Fiesta” “Party”, L., “-icide” “Killing”.
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News Hottie of the Week
Posted on October 25, 2005
Co-host of CNBC’s “Business Center”, Maria Bartiromo is the only one hot enough to make CNBC interesting. Danny Douche does nothing for that network. But Maria rocks. She’s been with the network for twelve years now, after defecting from CNN. She bears a strong resemblance to a young Sophia Loren, which doesn’t hurt. She loves Oreo cookies as well, according to IMDB. And she is the first Robot Shuffle News Hottie of the Week to have a song written about her, Maria Bartiromo by Joey Ramone of the Ramones (iTunes Music Store Link.)
Filed Under Hottie of the Week, King of Internets | 2 Comments
Ho Ho Ho
Posted on October 24, 2005Last night Shelby and I decided that a double pack of pre-medicated douche, with one douche left, that you got off of an internet freecycle group, would pretty much be the worse Christmas present to get your girlfriend ever.
Filed Under King of Internets, Rants | 4 Comments
Words and Phrases I am Officially Done With, 2005 Edition
Posted on October 22, 2005- “Flip Flopping” - This is a ridiculous accusation of anyone, as if nobody is allowed to change positions based on new information or whatever. And besides, the election was a year ago, so no more of this.
- Anything quoted from Napoleon Dynamite - This technically should be on the 2004 list, but unfortunately it’s still around, though hopefully on its last legs. The movie sucked. Like a retarded 10 year old trying to write a Wes Anderson script, the movie meandered and depended entirely on a few catch phrases that any jackass with a hundred bucks and a screen printing machine can put on a t-shirt and sell.
- “Exit Strategy” - Based solely on the fact that we lack one with Iraq, suddenly everything needs or lacks an exit strategy. Ford needs an exit strategy from employee price discounts; the senator needs an exit strategy from the latest accusations; your mom needs an exit strategy from the sofa.
- “Vote for Pedro” - Sorry, but I just had to reiterate the Napoleon Dynamite thing
- “MSM (Mainstream Media)” - This is a phrase used by blogger douchebags who want to make it seem like they’re the “underground, hip cool news” crowd. Really, the biggest thing bloggers have accomplished was that whole “was Bush wearing a wire” during the the ‘04 presidential debate with Kerry. What have you done for me lately?
My Day in Court
Posted on October 20, 2005I went to court today; I was sued for alleged unpaid utilities by my previous roommate. A bit of trivial personal nastiness I will admit; but we most do these things at various points in our lives. After being served the summons, we received a letter from the producers of Judge Mathis offering to let us come on the show; in hindsight it would’ve been cool to do that, but oh well.
We showed up in court today, I wearing a snazzy suit, which I feel I should do more often. We met up with the plaintiff, whom I’ve not spoken with since this bit of nastiness began, we joked around and were civil, but I don’t know if there was underlying tension or not. We were offered a chance at mediation; the lady in charge of that had weird gnarled baby hands that went at a right angle from her wrist, but she could still write and such, so that’s good for her.
The first thing I noticed is that actual small claims court is less entertaining than the courts on tv. Much less. And there was no big black guy serving as a bailiff to hand documents to the judge and such. But we got along anyway. I think everything went well, but we’ll wait to see when the judgement is handed down from on high, or through the mail in a few days, whichever happens first.
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News Hottie of the Week
Posted on October 18, 2005
Another anchor from CNN (or as the right-wingers at work refer to it, “Clinton News Network — he’s been out of office for 5 years. Let it go.) This might be due to the fact that I mostly watch CNN for news, but I’d like to think that they just have an excellent selection process. Anyway, her name is Veronica de la Cruz. She is an anchor for Now in the News, a show packaged for broadband newscasts. She comes from Yuma AZ, where she was an anchor and producer. She does extensive volunteer work with the poor, She used to be a competitive figure skater as well.
Filed Under Hottie of the Week, King of Internets | 4 Comments
Roblog Readers: A Letter to You
Posted on October 17, 2005Anyone who started reading the Roblog, and then tried to follow it to its new domain at roblog.us, ignore that. It’s going to stay at news.robotshuffle.com until DB gets back from International Automotive Podcasters Union convention in Fhloston Paradise, Texas. At which point, I’ll buy a new domain through GoDaddy and not have to go through the pain in the ass that is Yahoo. So, I’ve got a few ideas for domains. Anyone who wants to vote can do so in the comments.
- robolicious.net
- robolicio.us
- ro.bolicio.us
- robosexual.us
Again, feel free to leave comments, and remember to keep reading over at news.robotshuffle.com.
Filed Under Meta | 4 Comments
New Sandwich Idea for Burger King
Posted on October 16, 2005I better patent this one. Take a piece of veal and wrap it in a 10 oz top sirloin steak. Lay it on a bed of a dozen eggs and four ham patties on a hoagie bun. Add a package of bacon over the top and melt two pounds of cheese to top everything off. Serve with 64 oz overroasted coffee.
