Angry Crocs Post
Posted on September 30, 2005
I just want to go on the record that these are the ugliest fucking shoes in the world. Even uglier than those novelty Big Foot furry slippers that were slightly popular back when “Harry and the Hendersons” came out to VHS. Women wearing them look like they have poor taste; men who wear them look like complete fucking douchebags. And they can’t just wear black ones or earth-toned ones. It’s gotta be bright orange/yellow/blue/pink, like they want to draw attention to their ugly-ass’d shoes. ‘Tis a shame that if lightning were to strike them, their rubber-shod feet would protect them from any serious harm. If you see your friends, your family, random strangers on the street, wearing Crocs, do them and the world a favor and call them a fucking douchebag.
News Hottie of the Week
Posted on September 25, 2005
CNN White House correspondent Elaine Quijano is the official Robot Shuffle News Hottie of the Week*. Whether following commander in chief cuckoo head when he’s on vacation, or following him when he’s on a “working vacation”, she does it with a hotness that makes even stoic Wolf Blitzer give notice. She joined with CNN in 2000, abandoning those poor bastards at WSFT-TV in Tampa Florida. She’s also got a B.S. from the University of Illinois. Now that’s hot.
*Robot Shuffle.com and its subisidaries make no guarantee that the News Hottie of the Week will be given on a weekly basis, nor does it guarantee that you personally will think that the News Hottie of the Week is hot.
Filed Under Hottie of the Week, King of Internets | 2 Comments
Robots
Posted on September 21, 2005I really want to get a Roomba and a Robosapien. And then I want them to duke it out.
Filed Under Humour, Ideas | 4 Comments
A Mystery?
Posted on September 19, 2005Well Robot Shufflekateers, we’ve got something of a mystery on our hands round these here Trenridge Gardens. I was up at 7:30 A.M., doing my business and such when I heard a knock at the door. Unfortunately I was not properly dressed to greet the person at the door (not already having put on my smoking jacket, thick-rimmed glasses, a half-pound of Brillo Cream, and smoking a pipe), so I had to scramble for some shorts or something. Finally dressed I go to the door, but our visitor was gone! In its place was a newspaper lying on the ground (I keep talking about it, but I don’t have a subscription.) Written in Sharpie on the outer wrapper of the paper was a note, “Please accept my sincerest apology, -Kenny.” This is unusual. I don’t know who Kenny is. I don’t know how Kenny has wronged me. It’s not just an apology, but a sincerest apology. I am quite confused by this. If you have any ideas to the solution to this mystery, by all means post them in the comments.
Filed Under Meta | 4 Comments
Pretty Lights and Short Notes
Posted on September 12, 2005
Best line I heard in a RZA song today, “I got the heart of Faye Dunaway whippin’ that child with the coatrack” from “A Day to God is 1,000 Years.”
I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t like Danzig. It’s like the best of the Doors and the best of early Black Sabbath, all in one. All around goodness right there.
I bought Futurama’s first season on DVD. This is one of the best shows on tv that unfortunately led a short life, only 3 seasons. I recommend, those who have not seen this show, check it out on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, on school nights. Ridiculously clever with so many little jokes and such.
Filed Under King of Internets, Pictures, Rants | 4 Comments
Sweeeet
Posted on September 7, 2005Rogue networks at the laundromat.
Filed Under Meta | Comments Off
Note.
Posted on September 6, 2005Filed Under Meta | Comments Off
Liveblogging Work
Posted on September 6, 2005Well, not truly liveblogging, but more of a summation of what I’ve done so far. The entire club is closed due to the aeration of the golf course, except for the area where I primarily work, the bar in the men’s locker room, a.k.a., the stag bar. Granted, no golf, no swimming, no tennis, and no food service would lead one to surmise that no one would want to come out here, and so far that’s proving to be the case. More after the jump.
- 11:30: I’m scheduled to work.
- 11:42: I arrive and clock in; notice that my trainee isn’t here yet.
- 12:25: Finish reading the paper, watch “Star Trek: Deep Space 9″.
- 12:43: Poop.
- 1:00: Another episode of “Star Trek” starts.
- 1:28: Successfully finish “Word Jumble”. The answers are “IDIOM”, “ELKEN”, “BLUISH”, “FIZZLE”, and “FILLED IN”.
- 1:44: Phone rings. I tell the caller that the club is closed today, instruct them to call back on Thursday when we reopen.
- 2:15: During a third episode of “Star Trek”, the phone rings again. Member on the phone is angry that he was not informed that the club is closed today, wants me to retrieve his clubs so he can golf elsewhere. Upon investigation, I find that the bag room is locked up, and inform member of this. He angrily hangs up.
- 2:27: Fold 30 towels, return to “Star Trek”.
- 2:45: Start to get hungry, contemplating making a hot dog. Ultimately decide that cleaning the hot dog machine later is more effort than it’s worth.
- 3:00: Finally, “King of the Hill” starts. No more “Star Trek”. I notice that the trainee still has not arrived.
- 3:10: Accidentally brush uncapped highlighter against my shirt. There is now a big yellow-green streak across my chest.
- 3:47: Decide that I can’t wait to be out of here.
- 4:00: Recieve a call from the manager. “How’s business?” “I haven’t seen anyone all day.” “Go ahead and close up then.” Immediately after I hang up and begin typing this. Someone walks. in.
- 4:20: Upon finding out that I was supposed to leave right when he walked on, guy decides to leave. I decide to leave.
fin.
A Little Experiment
Posted on September 1, 2005Chachi got a little comment spam today, from a guy operating under the nom de plum “Sam Freedom”, arguably one of the coolest guys on the planet, and a self-proclaimed expert on “search engine optimization”, i.e. spamming blogs and setting up spam blogs, in order to increase google rankings and get google ads to make money. These guys are usually scumbags so I set about to find out a little more about the fellow. In the meantime I told Chachi how to set up a basic captcha in Blogger to stave off comment spam.
A quick whois only showed that he registered his domain through Godaddy, via a proxy company that offers anonymous domain registrations called Domains By Proxy, Inc, a private company in Scottsdale, Arizona. (Whois searches usually reveal who has registered a domain, as is shown in this whois search for Robotshuffle.com.) So that was a deadend. The information on Sam’s website is mostly an advertisement for his spamming software.
I did a Google search for his name, and found that many comments were left in his name at a number at blogs and forums, that usually are ontopic, yet always link back to one of his pages about his SEO software. Most of the blogs he leaves actually comments (not spam comments) to are usually blogs about SEO, spam blogging, and other such topics. Also, he’s participated in a contest among SEO-interested individuals to get the top slot in a Yahoo/Google search for “Coolest Guy on the Planet”. (A quick search reveals that, apparently, he hasn’t won.)
So I’m going to continue the little experiment, and see if he notices Robot Shuffle, and maybe even leaves a comment. So I’m going to post this little link on here, and see if he comes back. So go ahead and click on it, it’ll only help my experiment, and probably help his too.
