Presenting Today: A Robot Recipe

Today, we are proud to present to you a recipe for an old classic, hobo mash. Hobo mash is enjoyed by transients and ne’er-do-well rail-riders the world over. And now you can enjoy it too.

The ingredients are easy to find in local gardens and behind restaurants around the garbage cans, or else you can find them pretty cheaply at the super market, if you are so inclined. Here they are, named in relation to the proportion that should go into the mash:

But first, better open a beer.

Chop ‘em, dice ‘em, cut ‘em, season ‘em and such as you would like. Hobos use salt and pepper from Wendy’s, where they give the li’l packets out free. I opted for good ole Lawry’s.

Uh oh, we’re out of beer. Better switch to the hard stuff.

Mix it all up, toss it in a bucket, add some bbq sauce to it (available, again, in free packets at most fast food restaurants) and let it chill for a little bit, preferably covered.

After letting it marinate for a bit, go ahead and find yourself bits of tinfoil. That’s gonna be your cooking container. Wrap the mash up in some foil, and get ready to grill. Feel free to add more seasoning, although easy on the extra sauce, or else it’ll most likely burn up on ya while cooking. Next, you gotta start yourself a fire. Some hobos prefer sticks and wood, for that mesquite flavor, where as other prefer a good old 55 gallon barrel fire. We’ll use a standard charcoal grill.

Let it sit in the fire for awhile, and turn ‘em over occassionally.

Take ‘em out with tongs, let it cool for a minute, and use the tongs to pull it open. Dump it on a plate and add more sauce if you like, serve and enjoy! Mmmmm. Just like Train Jumper Johnnie used to make.

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