Vacay!
Posted on July 10, 2004The Big Butte Vacation
How I envision this week going:
Day one: Try not to kill family during four hour car trip
Day two: Chased out of town by angry rednecks because they dislike Jews; disagree with Israels policies towards encampments of Palestinian A-rabs and the “Fence”.
Day three: Chased out of town by angry rednecks because Mozilla internet browser, concept of open-source, sounds like communism.
Day four: Chased out of town by angry rednecks because I wont stop making jokes about Farmers daughters.
Day five: Shotgun wedding because I knocked up a farmers daughter.
Sunday: After driving in the truck with the family for four and a half hours, we arrive. Unpack, and discover that I have no cell phone service. Sit on the porch for a while, the most exciting thing that happens is watching a cat cross the street. I need a beer.
OMG FARMTARDS!!1!
These were taken while standing at one point in the middle of an intersection.
From this one point you can see both ends of the town, showing the breadth of Butte.
Went to the fireworks show. It was actually quite impressive for a little town of 400. There were cuties about, too. Must make a note of this for later. I saw an incredibly massive man in a Skynrd shirt with a red beard, quite possibly the bestest farmtard all week. There was an electrical storm just to the north of us. As the big fireworks were going off, they had a backdrop of lightning. It was really quite cool. And the rain held off until exactly the point that the show was over. Very impressive work on the behalf of G-d. Its pouring down now. And I dont mean like a wee little pissing storm. Its the kind of rain that falls so hard that it stings when it hits your skin. Pretty awesome stuff indeed.
Monday: Had a weird dream about being manager of a Dairy Queen. Corey and Chachi were my employees. Chachi had to be fired. Several dreams about being at Hillcrest, asking whats going on, then deciding that since Im on vacation, I dont care. Sorry Anna, didn’t mean to be rude to you. In that dream.
Went to have dinner at the small caf in town because the only thing we had for lunch and dinner was pork. Would you like a ham sandwich? How about a hot dog? As I am wearing a gigantic Star of David on my shirt. So, went to the caf instead. Had a really good beef on bread sandwich with potatoes and gravy. Must remember to have this again.
Quite possibly the best hair-cut place name ever, second only to “Doggie-Styles”
Tuesday: Spend most of the day playing SNES. Eventually the parade starts. Even though the local schools have condensed, there still exists a rivalry between Butte and Spencer-Naper. Meander the promenade most of the night, in between visits to the bar for bourbon and cokes. I keep seeing a three-year-old with a mullet, and I cant help but think Keep on rocking that mullet, son. I am amazed that there are goth kids in the middle of nowhere. This blows my mind. They arent full-on goth kids, with billowy clothes and such, but they still show gothic tendencies. Eventually, I got bored and came back to write this. I might go back to walk some more, or I might go back to the bar for more bourbon.
Note to self: Bring DV camera and make a documentary about the sociological happenings of carnivals.
Wednesday: Took pictures at the tractor pull. Came in time for the tail-end of the light-utility tractor event, also caught the beginning of the open-modified pick-up event. The announcer sounded like Radar from MASH.
Carnival bit was boring, end up drunk and watching Kojak. Wish I could meet more people in the bar, but after 4 vodka/cokes, Im alright.
Went back to the bar, drank more vodka/cokes, and talked to people who went to school with my uncles, which was weird.
Conclusion: All in all, it was rather uneventful, I’d say.
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